Yesterday was hard. Today is better. I slept fairly well last night, and it just goes to remind me that sleep is the most critical thing for my mental well-being these days. I can see the exhaustion etched on my husband’s face, and I know it’s because he hasn’t slept well for 2 weeks (the hospital foldout “bed” isn’t terribly comfortable). I look forward to when we are home and he can sleep in our bed and hopefully rejuvenate some.
Home. I love that word. I have always been a homebody. My home is my sanctuary. I love to keep it clean, to decorate it, to make it feel warm and welcoming. I love to be there – with my girls, with Jim, with my family. Home is my house, but it’s also wherever my family is.
Tomorrow, we are going home. I cannot wait. This is a day that we were not even sure would come, and yet, here it is. James passed his carseat test with flying colors today.
Today, I have firmly decided to embrace the beauty of James’ existence. I am not going to lament the things we have lost. The things that we are still losing. I am going to revel in the things that we do have. He is coming home. For hours, days, weeks, months, dare I wish years? We will snuggle on the couch together, he will nap in the Rock – N – Play. His sisters will see him when they wake up. Daddy will fix breakfast for his girls. We will settle into a new routine. We will be a complete family again.
I don’t know for how long – but I am so happy that it’s happening – so happy that our boy is coming home with us, so happy that we have this chance that so many other trisomy parents never have.