Today was a little overwhelming. First, despite sleeping terribly, I got up and took the kids to Biltmore Regal to see the $1 movie. It was miserably, miserably hot this morning. Walking to the theater from my car winded me badly. I was exhausted before setting foot in the theater. The kids did well over all for the experience, so that was a relief.
After coming home, I had about 45 minutes before my brother arrived to watch the kids while I went to appointments. I spent that 45 minutes sleeping on the couch.
The first appointment was with an OR nurse. She will be with me on the day of the c-section. She was reading my birth plan when I arrived, which I appreciated. We went to a quiet place to talk about the c-section. Never having had one, I have no idea what to expect, so she walked me through everything from start to finish. She also showed me the OR where I will be having surgery in just 1 week.
I won’t lie. I had a small panic attack in the midst of her explanations. First, I’ve never had any kind of surgery or major medical procedure. Second, I loathe taking medications unless I have to do so, and even then, I’m reluctant. As she listed the medications that I would simultaneously be receiving, I started to panic a little. It will start with the perioperative antibiotics – in this case, cefazolin. It will be followed by the spinal anesthesia – a combination of bupivacaine (numbing agent), Duramorph (long-active, preservative free morphine), and fentanyl (powerful narcotic). Blood pressure typically drops during these procedures, so I will be receiving a vasopressor to keep my blood pressure steady. If my BP does drop, I may feel nauseated, at which point, they will give me Zofran.
The spinal anesthesia apparently works from just below my breasts down, and a side effect of this can be that it feels like you are having difficulty breathing. I have a terrible fear of choking/suffocating, so I was beyond thrilled to hear this news.
Thinking of all these drugs coursing through my system makes me terribly anxious – and I am already anxious to begin with, considering what we face with James’ condition and the unknowns.
After that appointment, I had my official pre-op appointment at my OB’s office. It was mostly consent forms, discussion of the risks, a physical exam, etc. It was nothing too exciting.
When I got home, I went right back to the couch. I can’t tell if the exhaustion is from the heat, from my emotional state, from being massively pregnant, or a combination of all of them. I would guess the latter. All I want to do is sleep.
At this point, I would like to let everyone know that my husband has been amazing. He’s still working full-time, and he has taken on much of the household labor around here. When he found me on the couch, still sleeping, with Hazel (who crawled up on me and went to sleep) at 6pm (normal dinnertime), he went through the fridge, reheated leftovers so that they wouldn’t go to waste, and fixed dinner. I didn’t lift a finger. Without him, I’m not sure how I’d be making it through the endless and simultaneously too brief days.
One week left until I hold my baby boy in my arms.