The plan

We have a plan. It has brought a great deal of relief. I almost *almost* felt celebratory after our appointment today. Unfortunately, the growth scan did not show what we hoped. James’ growth has dropped off dramatically. He has grown, but it has been a very, very small amount. He is showing growth restriction in other areas besides his abdomen now. His head still measures >90% – but it has also slowed in growth. His estimated weight is about 4 pounds right now.

Our doctor thinks 37 weeks is the time. So, we are going to rely on her knowledge, expertise, and experience. She has been with us every step of the way, and I know she has our family’s best interest at heart.

After much soul-searching, I have decided – with Jim’s support – that I am going to have a c-section. There are a thousand reasons, big and small. I won’t go into them since I think I’ve talked about them before. It’s not something I am happy about. Who wants major surgery? It is something that I feel a great deal of peace about though. We have a date, we have a time, we have a plan, and as long as James continues to hang in there, the likelihood that we will meet him alive is very high. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but we feel good about this plan. It’s not what we would want in a normal circumstance, but given what we know, we are proceeding as best we can.

We’ve got a great network of doctors and support in place, we are at a hospital with a Level 3 NICU, and we have the highest hopes for James’ birth. We met with our doulas today, and they were wonderful as well. This is going to be a joyous day, and we are going to celebrare, as well as grieve. We cannot wait to meet our son.

August 4. Our baby has a birthday.


2 thoughts on “The plan

  1. So happy you have a plan. Knowing you, this must be huge. Now your energy can be focused, which just feels better.


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